Skip to main content

People Pleaser

 


  Have you ever had difficulty saying "No" at any particular moment? Or have you ever felt guilty setting boundaries? Well, those are people-pleasers. People-pleasing is associated with a personality trait known as feeling overly concerned with pleasing others and earning their approval as a way to maintain relationships. This usually happens when we are at the office or party. 

  A people-pleaser is a person who puts others' needs ahead of their own. This type of person is highly attuned to others and often seen as helpful and kind, but people-pleasers can also have trouble advocating for themselves. There are several signs that might be a people-pleaser. They have a difficult time saying "no", preoccupied with what other people might think, or feel guilty when do tell people "no". 

  According to experts, people pleasers want everyone around them to be happy and they will do whatever it takes to keep them that way. They can often be perfectionists and spend hours styling their hair meticulously in the mirror. However, there are several ways to stop pleasing.

  Start with a small "No". It might be weird but this is the first step to do. Saying no is very difficult to please people. The easiest small "no" is over chat or text since you have time to reply. You can also try offering alternatives, and don't have to outright say "no". In other words, you don't have to outright reject anyone, you can offer a different solution that can satisfy both of you. 

  Stop apologising. By the mean of that, you've probably said sorry at least a handful of times in the past week. When you apologise, you lessen your own value and allow others to feel as though your needs could wait. When you are accident killed neighbour's bird then you have to apologise. Also.... buy a new one. 

  Consider your priorities. Be aware of what your values and priorities are and you are about to say yes to what would compete with your needs. If your priorities are not going to be met because of what others are asking from you, prioritise yourself just like others prioritise themselves. Keep in my mind that your needs are just as worthy.

  Well, it can be hard to break the pattern of pleasing people, there are many ways actually to take note of your habits. Remind yourself that you can't please everyone. Prioritise your own needs and establish healthy boundaries. We believe that you can do it. Thank you for your time and as always have a nice day 😀.


References:

  1. What Is a People Pleaser? (2023). Available at: https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-a-people-pleaser#:~:text=A%20people%20pleaser%20is%20typically,may%20be%20a%20people%20pleaser.
  2. 8 Ways to Stop Being a People-Pleaser (2023). Available at: https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser-5184412.
  3. 10 Signs You're a People Pleaser (and 10 Ways to Stop). Available at: https://www.choosingtherapy.com/people-pleaser/
  4. What makes a people pleaser? The origins of people pleasing explained. (2021). Available at: https://labyrinthhealing.com/blog/what-makes-a-people-pleaser.
  5. Edwards, V. (2020) 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You, Science of People. Available at: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/people-pleaser/.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

About Phubbing

    In the Digital Era, smartphones have become the number one priority in society. When it comes to our smartphones, nothing else in our lives gets as much attention. A single notification can branch to half days only checking the status or short videos on social media. If we lose it, the stress starts to build up rapidly. Getting by without a smartphone really is not possible anymore, and from that other areas of our lives are bound to be affected.   Phubbing describes the act of "phone-snubbing". It is a term that most people might not be familiar with, but the action is certainly one we all recognise. If we are going outside let's say, how often have we been physically in the presence of someone, but they're emotionally "not there" because they are absorbed in their smartphone? Quite a lot, isn't it?   Smartphones and text messaging help partners display love and affection to each other when they are physically apart. However, what happens when smart...
Post a Comment
Read more

Bushido in Modern World

    What is in your mind when you hear the word "Bushido"? Do you know what that means? You may probably have watched a samurai film and you probably heard "Bushido" in that film. So what is Bushido? What is the essential of Bushido in the modern world?   Bushido means "way of the warrior". It is commonly defined as the moral and behavioural code of the samurai. The essentials of bushido are loyalty to one's family and one's feudal lord as known as daimyo, personal honour, and courage in the face of death. The code has been important to samurai warriors for centuries.   In World War II, the Japanese government pushed an ideology of bushido to imperial bushido on the citizens of Japan. It emphasized Japanese military spirit, honour, and self-sacrifice. However, when Japan its defeated in the war, people did not rise up as demanded by imperial bushido. The concept of bushido seemed to be finished and ended forever.   As the country grew into one of t...
Post a Comment
Read more

About Telekinesis

    Have you ever dreamed to able moving objects around with your mind, like in a film? The power of telekinesis has captured the imagination of scientists, psychics, and fiction writers for centuries unproven by science.   So what is the definition of telekinesis? Telekinesis or psychokinesis refers to the alleged ability to move objects with the power of the mind or willpower, without physical interaction.   Telekinesis is from the Greek words, tele means "distant" and kinesis means "movement". If we combine together, it refers to the apparent ability to move physical objects using only the mind and without any physical interaction.   The idea of telekinesis has been in the imagination of fiction writers for ages, allowing the characters to demonstrate telekinetic abilities to move objects, restrain opponents, and levitate for dramatic effect.   However, many have claimed to have telekinetic abilities and believe that telekinesis is possible, but no one h...
Post a Comment
Read more